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can i get a witness?

2212 followers, 429 pins

Disney taught me that the best way to express sadness is to throw yourself on the nearest object and sob.

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The cure for anything is salt water -- sweat, tears, or the sea.

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I see. And how did that make you feel?

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Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

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Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

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Q & A on Dr. Seuss including: 3. Did he have children himself? No. He was not particularly fond of spending time with them either. His widow, Audrey, said in a recent interview that he was slightly afraid of them. She said he was always thinking: "What might they do next? What might they ask next?" She added: "He couldn't just sit down on the floor and play with them."

If I don't have children, I can take any # of paths in life. If I hate what I'm doing, I can change it. If I have a child and don't like being a parent, I can't just restart from the most recent point, it's just game over. I'll take my chances with this life.

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Don't Worry; Be Happy

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Worry does not empty tomorrow of its troubles

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Fail Better.

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Love me when I least deserve it.

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When people hurt you they're like sandpaper.

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You have to be willing to get happy about nothing.

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If you don't want people to know about it, don't do it.

2 likes 1 comment 3 repins

Profile picture of Kristen Nicole

Kristen Nicole The mantra of our online social era.

Do not dwell on those who let you down. Cherish those who hold you up.

I'm only responsible for what I say. Not for what YOU understand.

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Dear Sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger, but I love you now.

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There are two rules for success... 1. Never reveal everything you know.

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Our children will have battles ahead of them that we are preparing them for today. How can we? How did our parents prepare us? Eternal questions in parenting....

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Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.

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If you're absent during my struggle don't expect to be present during my success.

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Cool story, bro. Now go make me a sandwich.

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It's kind of fun to do the impossible.

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Everyone else is struggling.

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It's not called being "whipped". It's called respecting your woman.

this could be useful

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My husband's wife is freakin' awesome!

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Finally! A wine glass that fits my needs!

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Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive.

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Never be afraid to fall apart.

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Life is about kicking ass, not kissing it.

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Be so good they can't ignore you.

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Worrying does not empty tomorrow of troubles. It empties today of strength.

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You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you.

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Hahaha! Happy Easter!

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The world is a small town. Be nice.

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See the world through my eyes.

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Isn't it funny... ?

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I didn't text you. Vodka texted you.

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Do you mind if I strap your phone to my forehead so I can pretend you're looking at me when I talk?

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HOW MY BRAIN WORKS

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Alcohol isn't that bitter.

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I am fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.

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