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Pins from Someecards

Sorry your freshman 15 turned out to be an unwanted pregnancy.

My favorite thing about summer is having a valid excuse for my excessive sweating.

Dear Diary, Did the autopsy on the zombie man today. Yesterday I had thought about trying Bath Salts. Not anymore! Thats one Hell of a trip!

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Congratulations on already being prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse, by not having enough brains to interest a single zombie.

Edward Cullen does not exist.

I know it's the end of the month when my desk calendar has more food stains on it than appointments.

for real

2 likes 4 repins

My door is always open if you ever want to talk about how you can get the fuck out of my office.

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I'm less afraid of a worldwide zombie apocalypse than I am of visiting Florida.

I think we should just be friends with sexual tension.

The morning is a success if I make it to lunch without eating my lunch.

Let's all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don't fly....AMEN

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Please remember I'm a descendant of wolves. Quit dressing me in your stupid outfits!

Some day I hope to celebrate the most important day of your life in the worst dress I've ever worn. @Melissa Medeiros LOL!

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Sorry your attempt to form a summer softball team was a painful reminder that you don't have eight friends.

SOOOO NICOLE!!!!

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I can't decide if a decent tan is worth the possible melanoma.

Makes me think of Leah

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true, true. so very true.

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I used to care but I take a pill for that now.

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No matter how much you rave about Fifty Shades of Grey, I'll never be horny enough to read a book.

The Internet has destroyed my will to care if anything is real or fake on the Internet.

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I'm less afraid of a worldwide zombie apocalypse than I am of visiting Florida.